Posts tagged therapy
When Giving Advice Is Not Helpful
 
 

“What should I do?” “What would you do?”

These questions can become controversial in the therapeutic setting and many counselling programs teach therapists to NOT give out advice to clients.

Therapists don’t just give out advice through our support and here are some reasons why that may be…

Advice giving can be unsolicited if we don't fully understand and hear the person's story.

Advice giving can sometimes take active listening and intuition/inner wisdom or critical thinking away from the person.

Are there assumptions behind the advice? When that happens, it could be taken as ignorant and insulting and can do more harm than good!

There may be so much more than just a person asking for advice. For instance… is there 'decision paralysis'?

Does indecisiveness come up because this person hasn't been allowed to make their own decisions? (eg. parents made it for them or their partner would invalidate them)

I’d be curious to learn about the scale of the dilemma and concern is here: What would happen to this person if they were to make a choice?


And who gets to give the advice?

The person who is feeling stuck or who is about to make a big decision is the one doing the work, walking the walk.

That person is the EXPERT of their experience. Not us.

How can we close the power difference when we are around a person 'asking' for advice?


Some questions to reflect on:

• Am I playing the role of the hero or the saviour?

• So I gave them advice- how will the advice be interpreted? Will this person give me feedback on how it went for them?

• Does my advice for them stump or expand their growth as a human?

• How can I offer true support for this person?


TLDR; understanding and listening a person's story is supportive, trying to fix them or their situation is debatable. Advice giving can often times be from your experience - what is theirs?


I don’t see advice giving in the therapy field talked about enough. Curious to know what you think are the differences between getting support and getting advice. And how do you want to feel when you receive support?

 
EMDR: what it is and from a therapist’s experience
 

“The past affects the present even without our being aware of it.”― Francine Shapiro

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Two weeks ago, I attended and completed a 5-day intensive EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) training course. I went in being a skeptic learner. I came out from that training truly feeling the power of EMDR and I am never going back. 

The World Health Organization lists EMDR as one of the most effective treatments for trauma and is part of the clinical protocol in caring for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. EMDR is both an evolving theory about how information is perceived, stored and retrieved in the human brain and a specific treatment method based on this theory (Shapiro, 1995, 2001).

EMDR allows the individual the room to process through ‘unprocessed’ memories and recreate meaning of the memories. EMDR therapy can be helpful in introducing newer and more adaptive neural pathways for what is happening currently and future anxieties as the negative associations are no longer present.


The Neurobiology of Memory

To understand how EMDR therapy works, we need to understand that memories are stored in the brain through neural networks. A neural network is a group of interconnected brain cells—neurons—that fire together. When traumatic memories are stored, they are part of maladaptive neural networks that limits the ability to adapt, process and resolve stress associated with the trauma.

REM Sleep

The eye movements used in EMDR therapy seem to stimulate the same processes that exist in rapid eye movement, or REM sleep. During REM, we are in deep sleep and we may dream. There is also stimulation in learning in the brain. The eye movements in EMDR represents bilateral stimulation that activates both left and right hemispheres of the brain. 

Also similar to REM sleep, eye movements from EMDR therapy help transfer memory, including the emotions, physical sensations and beliefs associated with the original memory, into semantic memory networks (long term memory). 


Who can benefit from EMDR?

A lot of people associate EMDR therapy with trauma, as it’s seen to be effective to treat individuals who struggle with trauma or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, EMDR therapy can be integrated into many different populations and mental health concerns such as for self-use, relationships, military, dissociation, children, addictions, grief, phobias and pain.

Which memory of mine can be processed?

EMDR is effective regardless of when the event took place: it could be an incident from 15 minutes ago, 15 years ago. EMDR invites the client to have total free association across their life span: past, present and future. 

EMDR could process the future?

An anxiety refers to our anticipation of a future concern. Anxieties are present feelings of stress that are based on our past learned experiences to prevent and react to any similar situations in our future. Therefore it is possible for some of your anxieties to be linked with the same neural network. 

Self-practice: See if you can group your anxieties together based on past learnings with a core belief. Here is a list of some core beliefs to help you get started.

Is EMDR therapy triggering? What if I don’t want to bring up the past?


There are varying versions of processing through bilateral stimulation (eg. unrestricted, contained, or restricted processing) that the trained EMDR practitioner assesses in which to work with their client based on their best clinical judgement.

What if my eyes are strained or if I get headaches from the eye movements?


Through decades of research on this modality, EMDR therapy is now more adaptive than ever. You don’t have to do eye movements for it to work. Therapists are able to do tapping (eg. alternating from hand to hand), auditory (eg. tones played from one ear to the other), tactile bilateral stimulation depending on what works for the client.

My experience with EMDR

I found that the vividness and the disturbance of the incidents I wanted to process became so much more manageable. The memories I processed didn’t ‘disappear’ after the therapy treatment and I acknowledge and recognize all the emotions from the past experiences. 

However, I was able to let go of the feelings of resentment and disgust* because these were the emotions that kept me from moving past the memory. These were the feelings I latched onto that created the neural connection to keep thinking and reliving it. 

As a therapist, EMDR training gave me glimpses of hope and wonder towards helping out those unable to get past their past. 

*these feelings are subjective to whatever experience/neural network you are processing

Paired with Art Therapy

I found that EMDR resourcing techniques, to access and activate memories, can be worked with Art Therapy especially when it comes to various visualization exercises such as the container and inner peaceful place. 

“Unlike other forms of psychological disorders, the core issue in trauma is reality.”

—Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

Uploaded by VEN EMDR on 2016-06-30.