Do you struggle with a loud and annoying inner critic voice where you can’t even trust yourself from the hundreds of thoughts that dictate who you are?

Are you someone who would rather tend to others’ needs (aka people pleasing behaviours) to distract yourself from feeling the intense overwhelm that is going on inside you?

Are you feeling lost, stuck and isolated?

Unlearning

Our brain does this thing where we link together selected events into a plot or theme that shapes who we think we are. We devote our efforts into collecting evidence, kind of like a journalist that only reports one-sided, propaganda-like news articles to make sense of what had happened. The brain can produce some strange stories like self-blaming after traumatic events as if we ‘should have known’ or ‘dealt with it better’. When a bunch of these similar articles come together, the brain creates neural networks and boy, have I encountered many harsh ones during therapy sessions as a psychotherapist. 

The problem story

I have my own problem story that I am sharing in this post to illustrate this concept. The headline, “The Isolated Introvert” is the neural network of my problem story. I started noticing that I completely believed it and practiced living like an quiet Asian girl with low self-esteem throughout my adolescent years. It hurt and broke my sense of self. "The Isolated Introvert” story sucked the fun out of everything.

Becoming a Journalist

Along the way, I had a hunch, as a rookie investigator, that “The Isolated Introvert” story wasn’t serving me. I came across this term called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity implies that our brains can literally learn to remap and rewire existing neural pathways and create new ones that help us out. This means that it is never too late (despite the myths out there) that we can practice and adapt new skills so that we can gradually make peace with our problem story.

It is like being given a second chance. I am still revisiting, rewriting the stories I lived through on a daily basis.

The Preferred Story

When I give myself permission to look back and change the headline of my lived experience, I became curious because I was able to recall the moments where I had to go through all of that on my own. I started to develop rare moments of empathy for myself. At this moment, I am able to name the preferred story headline as, “The Mindful Psychotherapist”. “The Mindful Psychotherapist” story owns the hardship of the journey, the resiliency of my spirit, my creativity and empathy which are ways I communicate in this world and is helping me choose to come closer to my suffering to grow with it all.

TLDR; Retelling our narratives can help you to build new neural networks and rewrite old narratives to own back who you are.

I am living to empower and encourage my clients to change the headline and rewrite the version of their story. Also note that it wouldn’t be the same if I had gone through an “easier route”.

I am inviting you to give yourself a second chance. Do you have a problem story? What about your preferred story, are you feeling ready to begin to investigate this? I hope we can work together to retell the stories and own back who you are.

“The past affects the present even without our being aware of it.”― Francine Shapiro

Two weeks ago, I attended and completed a 5-day intensive EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) training course. I went in being a skeptic learner. I came out from that training truly feeling the power of EMDR and I am never going back. 

The World Health Organization lists EMDR as one of the most effective treatments for trauma and is part of the clinical protocol in caring for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. EMDR is both an evolving theory about how information is perceived, stored and retrieved in the human brain and a specific treatment method based on this theory (Shapiro, 1995, 2001).

EMDR allows the individual the room to process through ‘unprocessed’ memories and recreate meaning of the memories. EMDR therapy can be helpful in introducing newer and more adaptive neural pathways for what is happening currently and future anxieties as the negative associations are no longer present.

The Neurobiology of Memory

To understand how EMDR therapy works, we need to understand that memories are stored in the brain through neural networks. A neural network is a group of interconnected brain cells—neurons—that fire together. When traumatic memories are stored, they are part of maladaptive neural networks that limits the ability to adapt, process and resolve stress associated with the trauma.

REM Sleep

The eye movements used in EMDR therapy seem to stimulate the same processes that exist in rapid eye movement, or REM sleep. During REM, we are in deep sleep and we may dream. There is also stimulation in learning in the brain. The eye movements in EMDR represents bilateral stimulation that activates both left and right hemispheres of the brain. 

Also similar to REM sleep, eye movements from EMDR therapy help transfer memory, including the emotions, physical sensations and beliefs associated with the original memory, into semantic memory networks (long term memory). 

Who can benefit from EMDR?

A lot of people associate EMDR therapy with trauma, as it’s seen to be effective to treat individuals who struggle with trauma or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, EMDR therapy can be integrated into many different populations and mental health concerns such as for self-use, relationships, military, dissociation, children, addictions, grief, phobias and pain.

Which memory of mine can be processed?

EMDR is effective regardless of when the event took place: it could be an incident from 15 minutes ago, 15 years ago. EMDR invites the client to have total free association across their life span: past, present and future. 

EMDR could process the future?

An anxiety refers to our anticipation of a future concern. Anxieties are present feelings of stress that are based on our past learned experiences to prevent and react to any similar situations in our future. Therefore it is possible for some of your anxieties to be linked with the same neural network. 

Self-practice: See if you can group your anxieties together based on past learnings with a core belief. Here is a list of some core beliefs to help you get started.

Is EMDR therapy triggering? What if I don’t want to bring up the past?

There are varying versions of processing through bilateral stimulation (eg. unrestricted, contained, or restricted processing) that the trained EMDR practitioner assesses in which to work with their client based on their best clinical judgement.

What if my eyes are strained or if I get headaches from the eye movements?

Through decades of research on this modality, EMDR therapy is now more adaptive than ever. You don’t have to do eye movements for it to work. Therapists are able to do tapping (eg. alternating from hand to hand), auditory (eg. tones played from one ear to the other), tactile bilateral stimulation depending on what works for the client.

My experience with EMDR

I found that the vividness and the disturbance of the incidents I wanted to process became so much more manageable. The memories I processed didn’t ‘disappear’ after the therapy treatment and I acknowledge and recognize all the emotions from the past experiences. 

However, I was able to let go of the feelings of resentment and disgust* because these were the emotions that kept me from moving past the memory. These were the feelings I latched onto that created the neural connection to keep thinking and reliving it. 

As a therapist, EMDR training gave me glimpses of hope and wonder towards helping out those unable to get past their past. 

*these feelings are subjective to whatever experience/neural network you are processing

Paired with Art Therapy

I found that EMDR resourcing techniques, to access and activate memories, can be worked with Art Therapy especially when it comes to various visualization exercises such as the container and inner peaceful place. 

“Unlike other forms of psychological disorders, the core issue in trauma is reality.”

—Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

Uploaded by VEN EMDR on 2016-06-30.

Further Readings

EMDR Introduction:
Getting Past Your Past — Francine Shapiro, PhD

Foundation of Trauma/PTSD knowledge:
The Body Keeps the Score —Bessel van Der Kolk, MD

How EMDR can help Chronic Pain:
The New Change Your Brain, Change Your Pain: Based on EMDR—Mark Grant, MA

Repairing Relational Trauma:
Attachment Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma— Laurel Parnell