"Imposter syndrome is a manifestation of the imposter system. Break free from it, for you are the true architects of change." 

- Angela Davis

To you with a body trying to survive in a world where diet culture and transphobia still exists… 

To you with a parental figure who neglects your emotions instead of honouring them…

To your younger self who didn't have the language or resources to see and react properly to what was going on…

To you who experienced hurt, so strong, that you have had to step away, numb from presence in order to survive and keep floating on…

To you who have lived through painful experiences, dodging threats, tone policing yourself to the point where you filtered too much of your true self out and you are left with an imposter identity that you can't even recognize…

 

You're not an imposter, you're just dealing with grief.

Grief demands our presence and shows us that we are indeed human. That our heart is working/doing their job. 

It's the essential part of heartwork: a practice connecting us fully to what we value and addresses our competency to understand and stand by what we are going through. 

Grieving and heartwork offers us the gift of choosing our humanity above all else: choosing decisions that are for us, not just the sake of avoiding conflict or ensuring ‘safety’ in face of a concern or threat (aka our good friend, fawning).

Heartwork, grieving and reacting properly to what had happened/is happening around me, addresses the very points that supports me to clarify and stay true to who I am.

"We are not imposters in our own struggle.
Our voices, our experiences, and our pain are valid and necessary."

- Assata Shakur

I hope grief and heartwork can become your ‘roman empire’ 

💭🏛️🕊️🏹✨

… the way it keeps you pondering on the daily and fascinated by it's magnificence 

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Resources on Grief:

These are based on my personal journey which can look very different from yours. I’m sharing this list with any of you who may need a place to start. 

Many of these resources are from folks I work with and friends who shared them with me over the course of my journey.

Words:

Gabbes Torres’ pdf on grief and trauma
Time is a mother - Ocean Vuong
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief - Francis Weller
What my Bones Know - Stephanie Foo
Falling Back in Love with Being Human - Kai Cheng Them

Watch: 

“Everything Everywhere All At Once”
“Turning Red”
“Undone” (TV series)
"The Farewell"
“Inside Out”
“Riceboy Sleeps”

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 The Floating Perspective, popularized by Guo Xi (郭熙), a Chinese painter from the Song dynasty, is the type of perspective commonly seen in historical Chinese art with sceneries where there is not a single view of a subject, but rather several shown at the same time, shifting from near to far vignettes.

 

I wanted to bring this creative way of relating our what we go through into art as therapy and I have an art prompt for you!

 

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Here's your art as therapy prompt: 
An Image of Concern
 

Draw out a concern* you want to view or acknowledge from (a) perspective(s) that is supportive, from (an) angle(s) that is safe-enough for your capacity at this moment.

 

*If you don’t like drawing or painting, you are so welcome to make digital art, create a collage, a sculpture or look for images on Pinterest that can represent what your concern is. Ideas here are limitless!

 

Exploring your image of concern from different angles can look like:

• peeking in: through a barrier (like glass window, or from a door)

• zooming out

• from a birds eyed view

• through a container with the problem inside

• inviting in someone you trust

• like that iceberg visual aid to see what’s on the surface and what may be underneath …and more…

You are welcome to alter and change this perspective whenever you revisit this image in the future.

Please be mindful of the sizing, material, border, making sure the materials you choose can hold your image of concern.

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And some reflection questions when you finish your art making process:

 

• What is it like to express this concern into an image?

• How do you relate to your concern; and is there a shift with how you relate to your image of concern?

• Is there a portion of this concern that is externalized (aka. you are no longer holding onto or blaming yourself for)?
 

• How do you receive context from your lived experience of your concern vs. your image of concern? 

Receiving context can be: information gathering, perspective taking, the organizing of the story of concern, getting feedback etc. (ask Chat GPT: "how do humans receive context from a problem in their life?" if you're stuck here)

How did that go for you? If you wanted to share your artwork or thoughts, feel free to email me at linda@deciphercounselling.com.

Save this art therapy prompt and come back to it for another day. If you know someone who may like this, share this prompt with them!

Thanks so much for being here and trying something new!

How do you relate to your struggles?

 

Is it hard for you to ask for help OR could this a product of individualism? 

Are you dealing with ‘body dysmorphia’ and unable to accept the body you’re in OR has diet culture been so engrained in this society and these messages profit off your hate on your body?

 

Is it just ‘depression’ OR have you been socialized to be and show up in a certain way that isn’t aligned with how you are doing?

 

Is the DEI agenda not working from the organization you're at OR has 'DEI' been taken over by white fragility and there isn't enough safety for you to call it out?

 

Is it that you are dealing with a creative block and perfectionist tendencies with your art OR are you stuck in an oppressive system where your creativity isn’t seen and has been extracted for profit/capitalist gain?

In therapy, I often question with folks the ways we relate and narrate our struggles:

 

where we have learned to take on the ways we carry burdens through guilt, shame, anxiety, fears and grief.

Here's a question for you (pulled from the book, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color):

How much of your struggles are from personal burden and what percentage of this weight is coming from collective, cultural or family legacy burden?

The Floating Perspective, popularized by Guo Xi (郭熙), a Chinese painter from the Song dynasty, is the type of perspective commonly seen in historical Chinese art with sceneries where there is not a single view of a subject, but rather several shown at the same time, shifting from near to far vignettes.

I wanted to bring this creative way of relating our what we go through into art as therapy and I have an art prompt for you! This will be in our next blog post, so please stay tuned!

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CW: This next bit is about AI. Please take care of yourself. You don't have to read this. Your wellbeing is much more important than this stuff anyways.

 

 

Is it just me or have institutions been changing their sense of speed to match that of what a machine-learning AI would be? 

The world around us have been fear mongering and warning us that "AI isn’t the future, it’s the present."

 

And as AI becomes more prevalent in our daily lives, it has influenced our expectations and standards for ourselves and how productive we need to be. 

 

Do those ‘not enough’ intrusive thoughts show up for you?

It's definitely been biting me this entire year and I'm so sick of it.

Collectively, it's being felt and it's a lot on our nervous systems, on our communities, and on the way we operate in our daily routines.

It's like adjusting to a pandemic with permanence, coming in fast at us.

This reminds me of the same intense charge race and yt supremacy has on us, and all the other -isms have on the oppressed. 

When it comes to this charge, we tend to override and not look at the impulse, or flight responses our body has tempered for us.

Our bodies KNOW what this is. 

As a therapist, my role is to support and protect our nervous systems (think of it as leaning into our experiential wisdom and presence as we move through the world). And embracing our humanity.

We need to listen to the artists and humans when working with AI. We need to center in our humanity and protect our communities. 

We need to remember what is indispensable about you.

That is what will save us.

If you are in need of a few moments, please stay here and tune into your body. Your breath. The speed of you reading and taking this in. Slow down. Literally go take a break if you feel compelled to.

Play around with your tone of voice as you repeat these words with every inhale. If you're more of a visual person, try imagining an image of each of these mantras… here it goes…
 

I am not a machine. 
PAUSE.

My humanity is vital for life on Earth.

PAUSE.

I am not replaceable. 

PAUSE.

I am indispensable. 

PAUSE.

I am enough just as I am.

PAUSE.

I have ancestral wisdom.

PAUSE.

I am part of creation itself.

PAUSE. And exhale……… 

How is your body doing? 

Can you orient to something supportive around you? 

Let's go with that…